Ladies, have you ever had your heart broken? Have you ever been betrayed by the low-down dirty cheat you once thought you’d grow old with? Have you known the pain of watching your spouse live it up with some blonde ten years your junior? It hurts, doesn’t it? Kind of makes you want to buy a new vagina.
In anticipation of her new tell-all memoir, “Drinking and Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders,” the perennially outspoken Brandi Glanville is opening up about her very public and messy divorce from actor Eddie Cibrian. In her book, the 40-year-old mother of two reveals that after Cibrian left her for singer LeAnn Rimes in 2009, “I decided that since Eddie ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one … A week after the vaginal rejuvenation surgery, he was on the phone screaming, ‘What the f–k cost you $12,000? Did you get a nose job?’” She also bought herself a new set of breasts. Ah, I still remember when a big breakup just meant gluing crystals onto your vajayjay till it “shined like a disco ball.” Simpler times.