My spouse refuses to see the doctor!
I am very worried and frustrated about my spouse’s health. But every time I bring up seeing a doctor or getting help or anything he gets defensive and angry and tells me I’m bitching at him or patronizes me by saying it’s not a big deal or he’ll consider what I’m saying. But he never does. I have been with him for 13 years, we have two young children, ages 7 and 3, and I told him that I thought it was selfish and inconsiderate of him not to think about how we would feel if we lost him. This only upset him and he has shut down in speaking about it now.
Reason for my concern is legitimate. He smokes three to four packs a day, he has high blood pressure (he always has and the only reason I know this is I made him go to the E.R. twice in our relationship and both times, high blood pressure) and he is a heavy drinker. He’s recently not as bad as he used to be; he was a raging alcoholic for about eight years and now is at about three to four glasses of vodka or mixed drinks a day. On weekends it’s more.