Dear Cary,I am a 38-year-old woman having a hidden affair with my ex-husband of 10 years ago. To be completely honest, we’re just having sex, no seduction involved. Old feelings are welling up for me, some good but mostly bad, all with a huge side order of guilt and shame. I don’t think my ex has feelings for anyone except himself and our children. He’s the most selfish person I know while extolling himself any chance he gets as a model of generosity. Yes, he’s free with money and he’s pleasant and jocular with strangers, acquaintances and friends, but he’s stingy with his feelings. I’m realizing (again) that he doesn’t seem to have any. He seems to exist on a completely superficial plane and when someone pisses him off he tells them how he feels and is done with them. He doesn’t give anyone a chance to reply, just cuts them off. To him any discussion is an argument. He avoids confrontation unless he’s the one instigating it. I should mention that he smokes pot daily, several times a day, and has since he was a teenager.Continue Reading… … Read More
“Didn’t you get tested?”
One morning last fall, my son sat on the subway platform and refused to get up. It was rush hour, and there were puddles of dirty water on the concrete. As the stream of commuters pushed around us, several people stopped to ask if they could help. I thanked them and shook my head.“Henry,” I said brightly. “Do you want to go to school?” Henry loves school. Although I was seething with frustration, I had read the parenting manuals that encourage a person in my situation to redirect a recalcitrant child by focusing on future rewards.Henry nodded without much enthusiasm.“You have to walk up the stairs to get to school,” I reminded him, firmly grasping his hand.Reluctantly, he got to his feet and slowly climbed to the street, stopping emphatically on each step. At the top, he sat down again. An icy rain was starting to fall.“Henry, we’re going to school! Remember?”He shook his head, pulling his hand away. I pulled back more energetically, thinking about everything I had to do once I got to work. Henry lay down on the wet sidewalk.Continue Reading… … Read More
American parents are ditching diapers for ‘elimination communication’
American parents are embracing a new trend, diaper-free child-rearing. A recent string of articles point to the growing parenting trend of diaper-free child-rearing. The idea, which is reportedly gaining popularity from New York to San Francisco, teaches newborns to use the toilet… ;
Sex-crazed kids? Hardly
Kids these days, with their “sex” bracelets and rainbow parties! Back in my middle school days, we went on chaperoned dates to watch movies like “Space Jam” and avoid touching at all costs. Now 11-year-olds are staging orgies in their parents’ basements and live-streaming it online. Am I right or am I right?Actually, no. According to a new study published in the May issue of the journal Pediatrics, adolescents are having less sex than you think. The study’s lead author, Lawrence Finer, says, ”Policymakers and the media often sensationalize teen sexual behavior, suggesting that adolescents as young as 10 or 11 are increasingly sexually active. But the data just don’t support that concern,” he said. “Rather, we are seeing teens waiting longer to have sex, using contraceptives more frequently when they start having sex, and being less likely to become pregnant than their peers of past decades.”Go ahead and re-read that paragraph above. Let it sink in. Teens are waiting longer to have sex than you and your peers did at their age. They’re also more likely to use contraception and less likely to get pregnant than previous generations. In other words: Kids these days are doing it (or not doing it) better than you did.Continue Reading… … Read More
Tennessee GOP tying benefits to kids’ grades in new bill
Tennessee’s Knoxville News Sentinel reports that the state’s Department of Human Services has been involved in the drafting of the bill (SB132), withdrawing opposition once it was amended to provide parents with several options in avoiding the reduction in benefits. They will now have the option to sign up for ‘parenting class,’ enroll a child in a tutoring program or attend a parent-teacher conference before benefits are cut.Still, the new bill faces strong opposition from at least several Democrats in the state’s legislature. Rep. Gloria Johnson, a high school special education teacher, has stated that the new law is discriminatory, and would put “the burden of the family budget on children’s performance in school,” as well as target struggling families: The bill “sets up a terrible relationship between families and educators,” Johnson continued. ”It sets up animosity between school and home.”Johnson also noted that there is no state law which targets higher-income families with under-performing children.House Democratic Caucus Chairman Mike Turner is also concerned for children who may suffer from undiagnosed learning disabilities, and also questioned the exemption for homeschooled children.Meanwhile, Rep. Vance Dennis, one of the co-sponsors of SB132, believes that the new legislation will be a “carrot and stick approach,” and is only meant to measure up “parents who do nothing.”Dennis also believes that the new bill could help children suffering from learning disabilities by pushing parents into having them assessed.According to the News Sentinel, the measure will go through a committee hearing in the State House, and will then be up for a vote in the State Senate. … Read More
Kurt Loder Reviews Olympus Has Fallen and Admission
When last seen on Hollywood soil, in the 2012
Red Dawn remake, evil North Korean invaders had touched
down in Spokane, Washington, where they were quickly butt-kicked by
a bunch of teenagers. Having learned nothing from that experience,
writes Kurt Loder, the Norks are now back, and in Olympus Has
Fallen, starring Gerald Butler and Morgan Freeman, they’ve
targeted the White House, into which they manage to blast their way
in just 13 minutes.
Admission, on the other hand, is a smarter movie than
the average romantic comedy, and while chugging along on the way to
its inexorable happy wrapup, it passes through some interesting
social territory, touching on issues of parenting, academic
priorities, and professional ethics. It’s also very funny in parts,
with bright performances by Tina Fey and Lily Tomlin. But the
comedy and the social observation don’t quite meld, and when the
movie’s over, you’re left feeling somewhat under-gratified. View this article.
… Read More
Blended Family Friday: Share Your Step-Family Story With HuffPost Divorce
Here at HuffPost Divorce, we know that our readers are full of love for their blended families.
Yet, we know that it can be tough to, well, blend. From merging two distinct parenting styles to refereeing new siblings with very distinct personalities, joining two families together can be more than a little overwhelming.
So to guide other couples in their pursuit of blended family bliss, we’re launching Blended Family Friday — a recurring series in which a different stepfamily shows us how they do it each week.
