The Dismal Séance

7315MakesHistoryComeAlive The Dismal Séance

An actual sentence that an actual person actually wrote:
What would Lincoln do about the fiscal

That’s Joe Klein striving
mightily to claim the award for ;Worst Essay Ever Inspired
By A Steven Spielberg Movie, a title held til now by an elaborate
Thomas Friedman metaphor involving Palestinians, iPads, and a
“bigger boat.” (*)
Klein’s next sentence, incidentally, is “The answer seems
obvious,” and the rest of the paragraph includes such gems as “On
the spending side, he would probably have to look at health care in
a new way.” I’ll spare you the details, but apparently if Lincoln
were alive today he would be a politically canny sockpuppet for Joe
The actual point of Klein’s ;column is that “if we’re going
to resume dealmaking in Washington, my colleagues in the media are
going to have to get off the high horses we mounted when, in the
wake of Watergate, exposing ‘corruption’ became the surest path to
journalistic gold and glory.” You’ll have to judge for yourself
what’s most risible about that sentence: the idea that D.C. has
deserted dealmaking, ;the idea that the press is too much of a
watchdog, or the fact that Klein’s description of those watchdogs
includes the word “we.”
(* Note: Thomas Friedman did not actually write such a
metaphor. Or at least I don’t think he did. I black out a lot when
I read his columns.)

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The Dismal Séance

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